Sunday, March 22, 2015

Tomorrow


Something weird has been happening.  
I am considering making two major life adjustments in the coming months.
I transitioned (fairly smoothly) from my dietitian of 3.5 years to my new one, 
who, like my therapist, is now stuck with me for the duration of her career.
I'm cooking real food at least twice a week.
I'm eating more veggies than I ever before.
(Yes, I know, I've been a vegetarian who doesn't like veggies.)
My career is blossoming at a rate with which I can hardly keep up.
And this week has been one of the busiest, most chaotic weeks of the year.  

Yet.  
Here it is.
Sunday.
A much needed one, as I finally have a day where I can stay 
in my jammies all day and snuggle with the Pup. 
And I'm sitting on the couch watching my favorite team play spring ball.
And I am thinking of the errands I want need to run.

Sunday afternoon.  In my jammies.
And yet I'm readying to go grocery shopping - my least favorite shopping behind clothes.

This is all positive, good, growth.  
At least that's what my therapist said.

So why do I feel like a stranger in my own world right now?
Positive movement = massive tears?
I know it's not gonna be instantaneous.
But when am I gonna be able to enjoy the positive?
When is it gonna stop feeding the depression?
Melancholy may make a good friend,
but I don't know how much more of it I can take.


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